Yes, all the proud and pretentious Hummer owners will be proud and pretentious no more. The Gas-guzzler Remonstration and Obliteration Act is a new law just passed unanimously by Congress, with President George W. Bush's egregious veto unanimously overturned. Members of Congress have finally disillusioned themselves about the severity of the current environmental crisis. GROAN, this law's catchy acronym, reflects all the protestation that owners of vehicles with 25 mpg gas mileage or less will be allowed to make. Effective on January 1, 2009, all such vehicles will be confiscated and brought to the nearest vehicle assembly plant. Thousands of new jobs will be created as these offensive vehicles are disassembled, recycled, and transformed into affordable, entirely electric cars saleable to the public. Owners of confiscated vehicles will be compensated with one of these new electric cars.
Not only are vehicles such as Hummers archenemies of our precious, irreplaceable, and only Earth, they also cement our dependence on foreign oil (ahem) and degrade the owners in the eyes of the more conscientious public. 12 mpg, Hummer Owner? Really? Do you even realize what that means, besides that you're ecstatic about $1.95 gas prices? Pardon me, but don't all Americans want to be independent of oil from the Middle East? That means that you, especially as a major fuel consumer, need to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! (No, I don't mean drilling ANWR.) The next time you purchase a vehicle, have more scrupulous criteria than "I want to blatantly display my self-serving priorities." So cherish frowning down upon Toyota Priuses and Smart Cars from lofty and raucous heights before January 1st, when your delusional dream world of self-absorption will be cut short.
2 comments:
I would vote for this law. I actually wish it was a real law. Hummer's are killing our world. I would never have to break this law for a number of reason. First off I don't like Hummers I think their ugly. My sister would also kill me because she's all about saving the world :). So she would kill me if I started driving a Hummer. Plus their sooooo big and akaward that I would probably kill someone trying to drive it.
I like this law. I would totally vote for it. Our envirornment is getting killed by this terrible car. Some people argue that some people need it because they are so big. But i garentee there is another car out there big enough for you. I don't get why anyone would even want a hummer because you know people are just going to judge you. Yea, hummers are bad, this law should be real!
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