# 5 If you mix a jerboa and a squirrel... a squerboa?

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Imagine an everyday, friendly neighborhood gray squirrel. Can you think of anything that could possibly make it any cuter? The big, broad ears of a jerboa would be a start. And its extra beady black eyes. And increased jumping abilities. This unique species, the squerboa, was bred in labratories, but a few pairs escaped into the wild. They now reside in Midwestern suburbia, coexisting peacefully with the native wildlife. Squerboas eat anything they can get their tiny paws on, including acorns, clover, and berries. Some of squerboas' favorite activities include branch-jumping competitions. Land on the branch, or, well, lose. They also enjoy communicating through flag signals using their ears. The avid animal enthusiast can observe these remarkable antics with a generic pair of binoculars.

#4 Man's New Best Friend

Have you ever wished that your dog would be a little more helpful around the house, rather than just making messes and demanding attention at the most inconvenient times? Well, you're in luck: Man's New Best Friend is here!

For over four decades, scientists have been working to develop a method of crossbreeding apes and dogs. This method has become so refined that the products are now available to consumers. Consumers can special order any canine-primate combination possible by selecting two breeds from extensive lists*. You won't just have a fuzzy head to pet, you'll have four extra helping hands to do mundane household tasks** such as cleaning the bathroom or mowing the lawn. Man's New Best Friend arrives fully trained to feed and clean up after itself. A perfect gift for Mothers' Day, don't forget to order*** at least three months in advance.

* Popular canine breeds include Bearded Collie, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, and Greyhound. Popular primate species include lemurs, marmosets, and chimpanzees.

** It is not advisable to allow Man's New Best Friend to help in culinary aspects. Its canine brain does not have a developed understanding of human hygiene.

*** Prices range from $799 - $1399.