Have you ever wished that your dog would be a little more helpful around the house, rather than just making messes and demanding attention at the most inconvenient times? Well, you're in luck: Man's New Best Friend is here!
For over four decades, scientists have been working to develop a method of crossbreeding apes and dogs. This method has become so refined that the products are now available to consumers. Consumers can special order any canine-primate combination possible by selecting two breeds from extensive lists*. You won't just have a fuzzy head to pet, you'll have four extra helping hands to do mundane household tasks** such as cleaning the bathroom or mowing the lawn. Man's New Best Friend arrives fully trained to feed and clean up after itself. A perfect gift for Mothers' Day, don't forget to order*** at least three months in advance.
* Popular canine breeds include Bearded Collie, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, and Greyhound. Popular primate species include lemurs, marmosets, and chimpanzees.
** It is not advisable to allow Man's New Best Friend to help in culinary aspects. Its canine brain does not have a developed understanding of human hygiene.
1 comment:
*bursts into hysterical giggles* I totally want one now! Those things do NOT sound like a lot of money or anything. And judging by the fact that it is actually half dog, half primate... that thing sounds very intelligent. I so want a telephone number to know where you can get one. Really, really soon.
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